How does your past help you today
Letting go of the past: How to close with the past once and for all
Unfinished things can take away a lot of energy from you. They haunt your subconscious and always keep a small part of your mental brain power busy.
Such things are also called "open loops". You haven't completely let go of something inside and now it's constantly haunted in your head.
In the stupidest case, these things not only besiege your head, but are also constantly draining energy because you have associated negative feelings with them.
It is now time to close these open loops:
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The basis: Find the open loops
There is no point in worrying about old camels over and over again. This is a waste of time and only takes away valuable life energy. It is better to become aware of your open loops of the past and then to specifically close and forget them.
Sometimes you may feel like you are making progress when you think about things all the time, but that doesn't change anything in the present. Because change only takes place when you consciously take action.
Stuck in old memories all the time has never advanced anyone.
You think and think, waste a lot of time and still get nowhere. The open loops are still there despite all the mental effort and continue to haunt you day after day in your subconscious.
Well what to do
Very simple: You have to become aware of your open loops and then close them specifically.
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Why it is important to finish with the past (practical example)
What if you don't close those open loops? I can best explain this to you with a practical example:
This morning I was jogging and passed a man who spoke to me as I ran by. I didn't understand exactly what he was saying to me and my brain then imagined that something was going on "..A small donation.." had been. But since I didn't have any money with me, I just shrugged my shoulders and kept walking.
But since I wasn't quite sure what he had actually said, I continued to worry about this situation. After 100 meters I turned around and ran back to him again to get to the bottom of the matter and to close it internally.
Turned out: he just wanted to know what time it was. I told him. So I closed this open loop, was able to let go of the situation and still felt good about it.
If I hadn't gone back to wrap up the matter, it might have haunted my head hours later and kept me busy ...
Leaving the past behind: the instructions
How is it looking?
Do you have a few open loops of your own that are always floating around in your head and drawing energy away from you? Yes? Then the time has now come to make you aware of it, to accept it and then to close it specifically.
Perhaps you still have “an invoice” with someone or the feeling that someone owes you something? Perhaps you keep thinking about a person, but you know exactly that these thoughts are useless and will not get you any further? Maybe you still feel pain because of something or someone, even though the thing is long gone? Maybe you keep thinking: "I should actually ...", but then you never do it?
Then finish today!
Don't make life difficult for yourself. Get rid of this ballast. Make yourself aware of these open loops and then bring them to an end.
Here is my method of how I do this:
1. Make an energy robber list
Make a list of all the things that drain you of energy every day.
Ask yourself: What are your thoughts constantly revolving around? What is it that keeps you busy without anything getting better?
It will help you to practice a little more mindfulness, because it sometimes takes a few tries to recognize these negative thought patterns. Many of these things happen subconsciously, but with a little practice and mindfulness you will gradually bring them to light.
2. Sort and prioritize your list
Then sort your list:
- Mark all things that you can solve yourself, with a star. These are all the open loops that you can close yourself, for example by talking about the matter (more on this under point 3).
- Then mark all things that you have no control over, with an "X".
- Then you write down all the things with the star, i.e. everything you have control over, on a new list.
You are now prioritizing this new list. That is, you choose the three strongest open loops that pull the most energy out of you.
Mark these and then solve them with one of the two following variants:
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Solution 1: Actively close the past
And now it comes: Consciously close the open loops that you can close yourself:
- If you've had an argument with someone and it's on your mind all the time, approach them and talk to them about it for a moment. Complete the matter.
- If someone upset you, call that person and tell them what was bothering you and then close it up. Once and for all.
- Try to sort out anything you can sort out with the people involved. This is the only way to finally close these loops.
You are probably wondering now: “What about the other list? With all the things that I have no control over because I can't talk to them (anymore)? "
There is the following solution for this:
Solution 2: Accept the past and let go
All the things that you no control you consciously let go.
Tell yourself: "I have no control over this thing, there is nothing I can do about it myself, so I consciously let it go."
I can only warmly recommend the method that I described in the article “Learning to let go: In three easy steps”. You can get even more detailed instructions in my self-confidence strengthening complete set.
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The past is over - live in the here and now
It doesn't sound that difficult, does it? All you have to do is:
- accept that there is no point in living in the past any longer
- Recognize open loops (= everything that constantly occupies your mind and draws energy away from you)
- Create, sort and prioritize list of open loops
- Actively close any open loops that you have control over
- Accept everything and let go of what you cannot (no longer) control, influence or clarify yourself
So my friend, now it's your turn:
Complete things or consciously let go of them.
In this way you will not only free your head from all these old camels, but also gain a good chunk of fresh life energy and live much more liberated, happier and more relaxed in the here and now!
Common difficulty in letting go of the past
I admit it: Letting go of the past is difficult for many people ...
It is important that you do not put yourself under stress or pressure because of it. The more relaxed and indulgent you deal with yourself in this case, the easier it will be for you to solve this problem.
I would like to go into two particularly common difficulties here:
1. How do I manage to let go of a loved one?
It is particularly difficult for us to let go when we have to leave a loved one behind - be it through a farewell, a separation or a death.
This is because we not only associate memories and experiences with other people, but above all a lot of feelings. Of course, these feelings persist, even if humans are no longer part of our lives.
Most people then make the mistake of not wanting to feel these (negative) feelings. You're trying to somehow ignore or distract yourself from the pain or sadness.
And that's exactly the problem!
In order to be able to let go of a loved one once and for all, you need to allow all of the emotions associated with it.
And don't worry - it's a lot easier than you might think now! Above all, afterwards you will feel so incredibly liberated as you haven't in a long time!
You can find the complete instructions for the letting go technique here:
Learning to let go: in three easy steps
2. When you absolutely cannot forget the past
You have implemented all the tips here and also tried the letting go technique, but it didn't help?
This can have the following causes:
- You don't actually WANT to forget the past because something in your subconscious is stuck to it
- There is still something you have to learn from your past that is extremely important to you
In both cases, no matter how often you try to close with the past, you will not succeed.
So what can you do
Here comes the solution:
You accept it. You fully accept that for some reason you can't or won't let go of the past.
If you now stress yourself day after day with the fact that you absolutely want to close your past, it costs you a lot of strength and energy!
Instead, I recommend the following ritual:
So that your thoughts on past things do not occupy you constantly, assign them a "fixed place":
Take about 10 minutes a day for this and sit down armed with paper and pen somewhere where you will not be disturbed.
Then you write down everything that is on your mind about the past.
Don’t think about what you’re writing. The more you can turn your mind off on this exercise, the better. Then gradually all the hidden issues from your subconscious come to the surface and by writing them down, they dissolve.
Another effect of this exercise:
As soon as your past topics torment you too much in between, you can say to yourself in your mind: "Stop it now! I concentrate NOW on my present and then deal with the past in the writing ritual. "
If you try this exercise for a month, you will be amazed to find that your past suddenly disappears by itself and no longer burdens you!
I wish you every success in letting go!
And if you liked the article, please leave me a few asterisks 🙂
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