Life is full of emotions

LOVE LIFE | A YEAR FULL OF EMOTIONS | THOUGHT CAROUSEL

 

 

“I let go more and more and give life the opportunity to“ happen ”. I plan less, I worry less about things that rob me of energy and things that I can't change anyway. I let life in mine, in our life. I trust my stomach and heart a lot more. Quite intuitive. And I decide intuitively. For me, for us.
I trust in myself, I trust in my body and I trust in my children. I no longer bow to social expectations and constraints. I see how it is good for us as a family. How it feels right for us. "

 

A year ago I was sitting in the lounge at the airport in Mexico City. Between many male colleagues and while they were talking and joking to themselves, the scales fell from my eyes.

“Janina, you are pregnant. You haven't eaten too much Mexican food, no, you will be pregnant! ", It shot through my head. I packed my bag and ran down the stairs to the nearest pharmacy. Yes, and shortly afterwards I found myself in the airport toilet. With a test in hand. My third test. Positive. I hold it gently and stare at the result. Pregnant. Wow. I'm pregnant. The madness. I hear my own heart beating The noise in my ears. I'm so full of emotions that I almost burst. State of emergency. Confusion of emotions. But I can't, I just stand there and stare at the test. Incredulous. Shortly afterwards I get on the plane heading home and I can't close my eyes for the entire eleven or twelve hours of the night flight. I'm way too excited. A baby, another little human being for us - what great happiness. We wished it that way. I keep digging one of the three tests out of my handbag as if I wanted to make sure that it is really true. Yes, it is true. A plus, a pregnant, a very, very soft glowing stripe. Pregnant.

You can tell the really cute story of how I discovered pregnancy in Mexico HERE read.

Almost a year has passed since then.
Since the day my heart pounded with excitement and happiness. I still fondly remember that moment, when I sat with Henry on the park bench at the city lake in glorious sunshine. About the way I handed him the little bag with the tests, without a word, because I was just too excited, and the way he hugged me. Such an intimate, such an intimate moment between us. Mimi slept through it all in her stroller and the two of us sat there, quietly, looking at each other again and again, hand in hand, leaning into each other. The water glittered in the sunshine and the noisy city life just passed us by. I didn't hear it, I was in my little bubble of bliss.

That was a year ago.

Coincidence.

{fateful happening, connection of events, behind which a divine, supernatural power stands}

So much has happened since then, and somehow it hasn't. So actually, viewed from the outside. But that's not how it feels to us. More like it was the natural course. A development that feels so good and so right. Coincidence. Yes, as if all of this were coincidental.

This pregnancy was it. It was this year with all its experiences. Coincidence.
So many things happened that we didn't actively plan. So many things have happened that were unexpected. But they always brought with them a great opportunity. Coincidence.

I let go more and more and give life the opportunity to “happen”. I plan less, I worry less about things that rob me of energy and things that I can't change anyway. I let life in mine, in our life. I trust my stomach and heart a lot more. Quite intuitive. And I decide intuitively. For me, for us.
I trust in myself, I trust in my body and I trust in my children. I no longer bow to social expectations and constraints. I see how it is good for us as a family. How it feels right for us. Because only then is it right. For all of us.

I met wonderful people this year. I've experienced wonderful things.
So I made a long-distance trip with women who were almost unknown to me. A real adventure, so exciting and great. I've learned to take more care of myself. I've learned to put work aside, reduce it and enjoy it. Let go, rearrange priorities. To use quality times for my children even more intensively and, above all, to create even more real free time with them. All things that are so wonderful. That make life so worth living. So beautiful and colorful and gorgeous.
We have moved, spontaneously and completely unplanned. We overturned plans that we had and accepted unexpected changes. Because every change is also an opportunity.

Be free in thought.
Live, don't plan.

Live and not be the puppet of others.
Put the focus. For yourself and your own small family.
Go through everyday life with positive thoughts. Don't give negative energies a chance.
Because they act like a downward spiral.
I don't look at others, I live myself, I live my very own life.
Friendliness. Charity. Love.

A year. An exciting year in which I was able to experience a pregnancy that was beautiful. So fulfilling and good and so full of power and positive energy. And above all, so free from fear. Yes, completely free from any fear. Carefree and easy. Instead, full of self-confidence, strength and calm. I've learned to stand up for myself and my body. I felt the summer boy in every phase. As he grew, got bigger and stronger. I was able to build up a very intimate connection with him during pregnancy and I am grateful for what we now have. What we have now.

The pregnancy with our boy reconciled me, it grounded me strongly.
Ten months that felt like the blink of an eye.

When I became pregnant I knew what I wanted for myself. I also knew that I was strong enough for it. Strong enough to withstand social pressures. Strong enough to stand up for me and go our way. Not just mine, ours.

I knew this was exactly the way to go for me. A prenatal care at eye level, empowering and beautiful. Accompanied by a great and competent woman, my midwife. Accompanied by a really wonderful gynecologist who supported with his competence and his open and really very warm manner.
My wish for a home birth. Then a plan {no, my plan} - very tender at first and then concrete.
A birth that I fondly think back to. Which was beautiful. Self-determined. Homely. That gave us a good start. Even if everything didn't go as I dreamed it would. So it was all well and good and safe.

The little boy is two months old. Two months filled with life. With tears of happiness, with tears of fear, with tears of tiredness, with tears of gratitude. With a lot of love. With baby fragrance. With a nice childbed. With lots of cuddling times, skin to skin. With time-outs. With sleepless nights. With sibling quarrels and even more sibling love. Two months feel like a lifetime. As if he was always there, the little boy. But also moments in which we could hardly or hardly want to talk because we were exhausted.

We are five now. Three children. Three. Three miracles. And my love has tripled. I have to laugh when I think about my fears I had during pregnancy with the little girl. Afraid my love won't be enough for two children. There is so much love there and it grows with every child. I love every child in my own way. Every child is perfect - just the way it is. You are all my lucky. We go our own way, our very own way - hand in hand and with a lot of love.