How wonderful is your spouse

Having a happy relationship: what are the key foundations for this to happen?

A happy partnership doesn't need perfection

I thank you for being wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; my soul recognizes that.
Psalm 139: 14

You are not perfect, but what you have to give in a happy relationship is wonderful and it is a gift for your future spouse and a fulfilling togetherness. That includes everything you are and have. Not just external beauty. That can be life experience, empathy, trust, tenderness and understanding, but also things like sport, hobbies etc. Every partner wants someone who is self-confident and confident in life.

As a second foundation for a happy partnership, you must put your faith in God and Jesus Christ first. You might think that's logical - I'm looking for a partner on a Christian platform.

Love for God connects

But Jesus said to him: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."
Matthew 22:37

To love God above all also means to experience his fulfillment from Jesus. For a happy relationship, it is particularly important that the other person's beliefs are similar to yours. Because different beliefs have a lot of effects on a relationship in everyday life. A common belief can weld the partnership together and makes many things easier.

It is important to find out whether your possible counterpart is not a "pseudo-Christian".

A Christian relationship is something very special

These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts stay away from me.
Matthew 15: 8

Probably the most important foundation for a happy relationship is a biblical understanding of love. If we enter a relationship with false expectations, we are disappointed, but also easily hurt.

The world teaches us that love is a right and that we should exploit and benefit from others. In worldly love, I am the center of attention as a person and I fulfill every wish I have and the partner becomes a means to an end.

But the Bible teaches us the opposite and that is exactly what makes love so special and blessed in a marriage or during the introductory phase at the beginning of a Christian partnership.

Let your faith guide you

Do not do anything for your own benefit, do not care about people's opinions. Rather, honor one another in humility; one respect the other higher than himself!
Philippians 2: 3

With these eyes we recognize from the beginning a person who is filled with God. We have the ability to love the other so much by seeing them as better and more valuable than ourselves. The Holy Spirit will give us strength to control bad feelings and thus prevent arguments. Having different opinions is not the same as an argument in a happy relationship.

In summary, this means: You want to have a happy partnership with someone with whom it is valuable and lasting to live together.

Take your time in prayer and - if possible - also seek pastoral care so that you have the firm belief that God loves you and has accepted you. Clean up any old ballast in your life before you start the adventure of an intimate Christian relationship.

Talk to your future spouse early in your relationship about questions of faith and possible attitudes, such as pre-marriage sex or forms of upbringing.

For a happy relationship with the mission, make it a point to treat your counterpart as a princess or a prince. That is real love when we have the simplicity to see great things in our partner and also the belief that God has wonderful plans for him or her. On these three foundations you can confidently and joyfully build your house of relationship so that it will withstand the storms of life.


Daniel Wagner, 1969, married and lives in the Zurich Oberland (Switzerland). After studying theology in France, he completed further training as a teacher and pedagogue and received his doctorate in the USA (Ed.D).More about the author